2020, a year of doubt, catastrophe, and self-development

Maya Barach

Maya Barach

Maya is 22 years old and currently studying English Literature and Philosophy.

How to conclude 2020? One step closer to insanity, another to goals and another to never knowing oneself better.

The last year has been anything but comfortable and nice. The range of emotions experienced has been scarily eye opening. Getting through everything without knowing what is to come next has definitely been a character building, perspective breaking and dream shaking experience.

Personally, I have had to come to terms with a lot of stuff; most of it being things I’d prefer to have avoided or not processed at all. If I have mastered anything over the past year it has been gratitude. Expressing, evaluating and equally receiving.

At the beginning of the year I was still in full swing of my Humanities course and hadn’t really a clue as to what I was actually doing. I had some ideas about what I wanted to do next but nothing concrete. Gradually, from what were rough plans for maybe next year or the year after shifted to being more rounded and established plans with a month to month structure. As time went by, I slowly begun to visualise a reality I’ve grown fond of in my brain. Despite the fact almost nothing makes sense currently, a lot of puzzles have pieced together.

Over the course of 2020 I got a few things done. I finished that qualification, planted the seeds to my business, enrolled in a TEFL course, secured a role within the civil service and continued to write blogs for Drive Forward. Although I’ve definitely felt the negative impact of restrictions and lockdown, I’ve learnt that things can still happen, if you make them happen.

One thing I have actively cut out is moping around and watching others, especially with all the time spent being confined in the house. This is a practice I have worked hard on removing and can surely see the benefits of doing so. There’s been too much time I’ve spent in the past focusing on bad energy and people who are no good for me. I’m sure we’ve all been there but I am glad to say that’s no longer a part of my behaviour. Although it does take some unwinding and reconstructing it’s worth every minute, the peace that comes with it is beautiful.

Overall, if you’re reading this, I want you to know I am proud of you. Whether we’ve crossed paths or you’ve somehow found yourself reading my work in the shadows, well done.

2020 has been a shit-storm for the most of it but look at that self-evolution and growth you’ve achieved. And sure, you might’ve visited some very dark places and considered all sorts of things but you are here and so am I. That is our largest achievement of the past year, so let’s recognise that. We are about to encounter a lot more changes and shifts ahead of us so let’s aim to steer them for the better. Even if you feel like you have low impact on what’s happening around us, you’d be surprised by how far a genuine gesture or hand of support can go.

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